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Tech Conference

I was on my way to a computer technical conference. I had decided before I left that I was going to wear my Malibu Collar for as long as I could. About two miles away from home I took it out and put it on. Actually, this is not difficult even when driving. Of course, you need to be very careful when wearing a collar and are trying to drive. The first problem comes in that you need to find a way to look both ways at intersections. If you remember to twist your body everything is just fine. So, I was on my way.

This was a 250-mile trip to get to the conference. After about 25 miles I was on the interstate and cruising. After about an hour or so I began to feel the effects of wearing the collar. About 2 hours into the trip I needed to stop for gas. This was my first real experience with other people while wearing this collar. A few people looked and then tried to look away. I would think that they were trying to not notice even if they did. It is a little more difficult to fill your tank and check your oil, etc. with a collar on. After going in to pay and pick up a cold soft drink, etc. the only thing was that the clerk did say something like that must hurt and I said “Not too bad”, if she only knew! Then I was back on my way. You will find that drinking and eating are a bit more difficult when you can’t move your head and opening your mouth is restricted. When I got into the city I was going to the driving got a little more difficult and I had to really rely on my mirrors, etc.

When I got to the hotel it seemed that the attendants were quite helpful. I mostly turned down their help, but they did seem to pay a little more attention. I checked in with little out of the normal. Carrying in my bags was an interesting experience. The problem was that the parking was quite a distance away from the elevators, etc. and I was on the 19th floor. Then I moved on to trying to eat a little dinner. Not a real problem, you just have to be a little more deliberate at your moves and swallowing. Things were OK until I decided that it was time to try and sleep. The first problem is that I don’t sleep on my back. I tried to get comfortable for about 2 hours and then decided that I really needed to get some sleep. I then took off the collar and went to sleep.

The next morning after a shower and shave I put the collar back on and went down to the conference. There were about 1600 other people attending. There were a few people looking at me, but I expected it. The first person to say anything was the older lady at the registration desk. She was saying that she felt sorry for me. I simply said that it wasn’t that bad. If she only knew! Then it was on to the continental breakfast – you know the muffin and donut with something to drink breakfast while you stand there talking to other people. By this time I was getting the hang of eating with a Malibu Collar on. Then we went in for the heart of the conference. You really can notice your lack of motion in you neck when you are doing things like checking around your chair for you stuff. You need to develop some new motions to get the job done, mostly moving your body and not your head and neck.

Then came the lunch and time to visit the exhibitors. The only thing I noticed is that everyone was trying to not notice the fact that I had on a collar. I think that this is an interesting observation in human psychology. Eating became easier and conversation naturally turned to the topics of the day at the conference. We all noticed that our customers are all the same. Then on to checking out what was for sale from the exhibitors. It is a little tougher to not look directly at the products when you can’t move your head, so the exhibitors could tell when I was looking at their products. Then it was on to more seminars. There was nothing out of the ordinary happening here.

Finally it was time to go to supper in the exhibit area. By this time I was beginning to notice that my neck was really being straightened out. The muscles in my neck were beginning to notice that they were not being used. This was quite an interesting sensation. The one thing that I also began to notice is that you are working your jaw muscles quite a bit more when you have a collar on.

When the night’s events were done I went back to my room. I decided to then take a few pictures of myself wearing the collar and a few others that I brought along. Then it was time to relax with the Malibu back on. I tried again to get to sleep unsuccessfully. After a total that day of about 18 hours I removed the collar so I could fall asleep. Some day I’m just going to force myself to either get no sleep or fall asleep with something more than a soft collar on.

The next day began with the normal shower and shave. Then on went the collar. I then had to load stuff into my car. When all of this was done I checked out of my room and went to a full breakfast. I did get a few looks at this up scale restaurant. Then it was back to the conference. One of the first things to happen was that the same lady from registration saw me and had to again mention how she felt sorry for me. Funny how she was the only person of everyone there that made any comment like that. By now it was getting to feel quite normal to have a Malibu Collar on. I was now getting used to using my back and body to look around. As a matter of fact, I even started to use just eye movements to see more. It is amazing how quickly you will adjust to a change in your situation.

One other funny observation. While wearing a collar at a conference, if you are about to fall asleep your head doesn’t fall down (duh!). The problem is that your body may begin to fall over! This is partly a statement on how interesting or boring the seminar might be. Anyone who has been to one of these should be able to relate to this!

After lunch I was on to purchase some of the technical books that were for sale in the exhibit areas. I needed to get these anyway and actually got an author to sign his book. He only made a simple double take at me before signing the book. Fortunately he didn’t make any comment on my ‘Condition’ in the book. Then it was back to more seminars. Thank goodness for the collar to hold my head up for some of them! I did learn quite a bit. Again I noticed the lack of use of my neck muscles. The only thing was that it came up much quicker this day. The conference ended at just after 4 p.m. This was in a large city and by the time I got out of the parking structure it was about 4:20. This is not a good time to try to leave a large city. I did get out of the city and then back on the interstate.

When I was quite a way out of town I stopped for supper at a fast food place that was built over the top of the highway. There was a family there and I heard one of the kids ask mom what was on that guy’s neck. She explained that he must have hurt his neck and a doctor gave him that to make him feel better. If they only knew! I ate my food and was on my way again. This was getting to be second nature at this time. The only thing is that I was noticing that my jaw muscles were getting tired. Other than that, I was really enjoying the feelings, etc. Back on the road. After traveling for a few hours I was due for gas again and stopped at the same place I did on the way to the conference. There was a different cashier and she also made a comment about my condition and I said that it wasn’t that bad.

When I got to within a few miles of my home I took the collar off again. It was an interesting experience. The only thing that I noticed was that this collar did make me sweat where it made contact, especially on my chin. I did also notice that the next day I did develop a number of pimples on my chin where the collar made contact.

I really enjoyed the experience and will probably repeat it some time in the future. The only additional comment I might make is that if you are going to wear any kind of collar for an extended period of time do it in moderation. I came to the conclusion that if you left the collar on for a long period like a week or something like that you could have weakened muscles. This would not be a good thing to have happen. I enjoy looking at others who are wearing a collar or brace as well as wearing one myself. I hope that some of you also enjoy this as well.

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