Please note I would never do this to myself, as you know I am not this sort of person. I sat down tonight and this story sort of wrote itself. I can only hope it does not take such a drastic situation to spur on our efforts.
Boy was I drunk! I was so depressed as well! Life was horrible and there was nothing anyone would do to help. I’d spent all my time on the internet replying to the thousands of research posts. Shared with them my most intimate details when it comes to being transabled and in the end there was nothing they would do for me. I was just another statistic for their article. I went into every single one thinking “this will be different,” but it never was.
I’d spent just as long looking for a way to become a paraplegic by myself. I’d looked up anatomy to see if I could do the damage myself. I read how one guy was trying to damage his spine gradually, that was a total crock. I heard about one girl who had managed to paralyse herself with an alcohol injection, but then I also heard later on that she regretted the decision. Not to mention all the health risks with doing that. And then there were the elaborate plans a friend of mine had plotted. He only ever acted on one. I was there. It all turned to shit and nothing happened in the way we had hoped for.
I climbed the stairs thinking it was just all a hopeless piece of shit. None of the doctors want to help us. All they could do was stand on there moral high ground and say that a spinal transaction was out of the questions. Didn’t they see the emotional damage it’s doing for us inside? How can they say this isn’t harmful to our health? All of this was rushing through my head as I got to the roof and looked out over the city. Suddenly I had the desire to make it happen or be done with it. I turned around, stood on the edge…and just dropped.
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“This in today! A girl was found in an alleyway this morning dead. Officials say she jumped off the roof of the building and died on impact. They also found a high amount of alcohol in her system. It’s unfortunate that she has become another suicide statistic.”
“An update on the suicide victim today. It has been discovered that this girl is an active member in a rather unusual group. These people identify themselves as suffering from Body Identity Integrity Disorder. A condition that currently has no known cure and no doctor has any desire to provide assistance due to the social stigma associated with this condition. I personally find it upsetting that these people have to resort to such drastic measures to find some relief. Not to mention the strain this is putting on her family.”
“Today on the news! Doctors are split in half over the debate as to whether they are doing more harm leaving BIID sufferers as they are rather than performing the much needed surgery. This debate probably will not be solved in the next few years, one must wonder how many people must come to the same sad fate as this girl before doctors commit to finding a cure. In the BIID community people are upset that this endearing girl has had to resort to such unfortunate ends. Many are asking if this is the fate that is in store for them, and just as many are using this as a chance to try and force their needs onto the medical profession. So far their cries are falling on relatively deaf ears.”