Help!

Chapter One

This story will be coming to you from two different perspectives mine and my husband’s. First thing that you should know is that my husband is a doctor of orthopedics. He deals with everything from casting broken bones to performing surgery on deformed bones. We are financially well off, which would explain the story that I am about to tell you.

I would do almost anything for my husband. But, I wish I knew now what I should have known then. My husband, Rob, needed test subjects for a new type of procedure that he was developing, so he said. Reluctantly, I agreed to be apart of his test, little did I know that I would be giving up about three and a half years of my life.

It was a Monday morning when I walked into Rob’s office. He was very happy to see me. Happier than usual I must say. Up to this point I had little to know clue of what Rob’s plans would be for me. Because he was my husband I trusted him. He explained that I would be placed in a body cast that went from just below my knees to my neck. OK, I was not happy, but he assured me that I would be fine. He went on to explain that this test was to see how long term casting and later bracing would effect the human existence. At this point, I said no. But he was somewhat hurt, and I felt bad saying no to my husband. So finally after he explained the rest of the procedure I reluctantly said yes. Rob, agreed that the experiment would run for only a couple of weeks. (YEAH, right)

My agreement sparked everything into motion. Rob called for a nurse. She walked in to the office with a wheelchair. She asked me to sit in it and then she would be taking me down to the casting room.

When we reached the casting room, I was amazed at the braces and equipment that it would take to encase me in fiberglass. The nurse then asked me undress completely and lay on the metal table in the middle of the room. She went on to explain that Rob and several other doctors would be coming into the room and starting their work. The nurse left me alone to undress. I quickly undressed, and then found a blanket to cover myself with. I laid on the table and let the blanket fall over me. About five minutes later, Rob and two other doctors that I had never met walked into through the door.

Rob introduced me to his colleagues. Dr. Stevenson and Dr. Collarmen were the doctors that would be assisting Rob in his experiment. They explained how happy they were that I had decided to be apart of this medical experiment. I then felt a hard prick into my hip. Later, I was informed that it was a syringe filled with a very strong sedative. Because the next thing I remember, is a noise of a machine in a large hospital room. To my discovery it was a ventilator, and I WAS HOOKED UP TO IT. I tried to open my mouth to scream, but I could not. There was a tube coming out of my mouth and my lips were taped shut. When I tried to swallow, I realized that it too was impossible. There was another tube that had gone down my throat to my lungs.

Stupid me tried to sit up. But remember I was in a complete body cast. That was impossible. My final revelation was that my head hurt. Then Rob walked in and said,

“Hi Beth, I am glad to see that you are awake. You are probably wondering what is going on. Well after we encased you, we decided to go a little further on our experiment. You are in a complete body cast. Also, on your head is a halo brace. This brace forced us to drill into your skull. Your head is encircled with a metal circle, which has four metal columns extending from it. You are also probably wondering why you are on a ventilator? Well, yours lungs started to breath shallowly, and we did want you to experience pulmonary failure. Beth, in order for you to communicate, you will be asked a bunch of questions. You will blink your eyes once for no and twice for yes. I promise that you will not be in situation for long. Also, we are feeding you intravenously. There is also a catheter that will drain out the waste products. If you feel any discomfort at all you will probably have to endure it, until a nurse comes in. They will come in an move you about every half in hour. Are you in any pain right now?”

Two blinks.

“Where your head?”

Two blinks.

“OK, after a while you will not notice it. I will come to see you as often as I can. From what Dr. Collarmen, Dr. Stevenson, and I decided was that you would spend several weeks in the bed with the brace and the cast. Then from there will start your recovery. Do you understand?”

Two blinks.

A couple of weeks turned into a couple of months. Basically, I spent two months in a drug induced coma, and it had not been done by my own accord. I am say that I would never put myself intentionally put myself in that state, but my husband, the man that I trusted lied to me. Later, my husband informed me that it was to reduce the amount of pain I was in.

However, after a few days I was taken off the ventilator, and I was then able to breathe on my own. I could even talk, but that was not as easy as you might think. Because I was kept heavily sedated. Rob, came to visit me frequently, but I was usually either coming out of or going into a drug induced sleep. Finally, one day I awoke from my drug induced coma to find myself sitting up in a wheelchair. This was an unusual feeling, for me, just because I had laid in a hospital bed in a complete body cast and halo brace, so long. Even though, I had some movement in my body, I was still being held captive by artificial means. My torso was erected by a new soft clamshell. It was made from a thick durable cotton material that combined several steel rods which were incorporated within the brace. My back was completely straight and rigid. My was neck however, was remarkably flexible. There was nothing that inhibited movement to my neck. However, the clamshell kept me from moving, which was much more difficult in the wheelchair.

This wheelchair was different from anything that I had ever witnessed. From what I could see from the mirror that Rob and his colleagues had added to the sterile white hospital wall. Rob had stated that he wanted me to become accustomed to my new situation. Anyway, the chair looked much like a motorized chair, but it was not. It was made of heavy duty, black titanium alloy. The chair itself was a high back, which basically means that the back of the chair came up to about the nap of my neck. The arm rests were large enough for my hands to be strapped down, much like what happens at a cattle roping contest. The cow’s legs are tied together to ensure that the animal does not try to escape. My hands lay flat on the rests, then wrist braces are applied, then the restraints are strapped on all the way up my arms. My legs were immobilized by two knee braces that were locked at a 90º angle. It was literally impossible to bend or straighten my legs without someone unlocking the braces. If I struggled the restraints seemed to get tighter, and more uncomfortable. Everything that I would usually do for myself was being done for me. Nurses would come in every couple of hours to drain my catheter bag. I was being spoon fed a special diet, and I was moved to and from the bed. I was also bathed but not like I would do myself. The nurse would come and remove the braces and the restraints, and lay me flat on a waterproof gurney, then push me down the hall where, I was watched like a dish at a fast food restaurant. I was, basically, forced to be an invalid. Yet, my husband said that was the best way.

Anyway, back to the diet. Oh, that diet was special. I was not allowed to eat very much. Most of the meals consisted of Jell-O, toast, cottage cheese (Which I loath), apple juice, and lots and lots of water. If I refused any of the food, I was still forced to gag it down. I was told that they did not want me to gain any weight, and early on I had difficulty holding anything down, so I was told.

One morning after I had been in what was called stage two, the wheelchair phase, as my husband called it, Rob came in to talk to me.

“Good Morning Beth, I am glad to see you are awake. I guess you are probably wondering what is going on? Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will stay physical therapy soon, to regain any mobility that you have lost. For which I am sorry for, but your help has been proven to be invaluable. Again, I am sorry that this has taken longer than originally thought, but here comes the bad news. Upon our tests, we have found a problem with your spine. There is a curvature in your spine that is abnormal. We are half way surprised that this has not been noticed until now. The actual medical term for this is Scolosis. For most people it is not a serious problem, but since you are an adult, we must treat it. Honey, I love you, and this is why we have kept you in the dark for so long. I know that you are probably mad at me, but I did not want to see you get hurt.”

“Rob, I do not understand. What does a curvature of the spine have to do with the cruel experiment that you have chosen to do on me? Am I going to get out of this chair? Also, am I in restraints, why?”

“Beth, the experiment was to see what would happen to a person’s body if they were healthy, but yet immobilized voluntarily. I did explain that to you that morning in the office. Yes, you are going to get out the chair, in fact, today. The restraints were so that you would not hurt yourself, when you were sedated. We did not know that you suffered from this condition until we ran some tests on you. The diagnosis would explain why that you have been having such problems with your back. Had it been diagnosed why you were a child there would be no need for the treatment that I am about to prescribe. Please, do not hate me.”

“Honey, I do not hate you, but I have known that there has been a problem. When I was a child mom and dad took me to the doctor, he informed us that I had Scolosis. But, mom and dad did not understand that this was this serious, so they did nothing about it. Rob, Please tell what are the treatments?”

“Beth, We have tried to put you in a body cast with the hopes that your spine would correct itself. But, unfortunately, it did not. The only other thing that we could do without surgery, is for you to wear a back brace. This brace would consist of metal bars, leather straps, a plastic type corset, and soft pads. This brace will not allow you to move your head from side to side. It will also limit the movement of your back. You will basically be a human stick. Sweetie, you will only be allowed to remove this brace for one hour a day. You will wear it to bed, out in public, every thing you do will be affected. If you are ready I will take you down to wear the brace is going to be fitted.”

“Wait a second, you have already made the brace?”

“Yes, we have, because there is no other alternative.”

“What if I did not agree to the treatment?”

“Beth, I knew that you would have, because I have seen the pain that you have been in for a long time, now. Also, if you did not I was going to have to keep you here longer. Honey, I guess I should tell you the truth. This was not an experiment. I wanted to find out what the problem was, and the only way that you were going to get this checked out was if I forced you to. I am sorry, but I could not bare to see you in this much pain, all the time. I love you, and I want you to be healthy.”

“You what…you have force me to endure this, and this was not an experiment it was treatment. The body cast, the restraints, the IV were all part of your treatment? Yes, I am mad, but I guess you were right, I just did not want to deal with this. If I let you put the brace on can I go home?”

“In a couple of days. I am sorry, but you and I always get into an argument over this.”

I could hardly speak, I was mad and I was happy that Rob cared so deeply about my health. Anyway what choice did I have? I had known since I was a child that my spinal curvature was abnormal, but I never thought that there would ever cause the pain that I had experienced up to this point. I did not like the fact that Rob had to lie to me, and tell me it was an experiment, when it was not. But, he had also been right, when he said that I would have never go and have it fixed he was right. I hated hospitals, also, I thought that it was not a big deal, I had been in pain since I can remember.

Now, he is wheeling me down to the room where I got my cast on. The room was the same way as it was the day that the cast had gone on. The only other person in the room was a nurse, that I had never met. After, I was in the room Rob positioned the wheelchair next to the examining table. He unlocked the knee braces, and unstrapped the rest of the restraints. WOW!! I had not felt so uninhibited for so long, this was great. Rob, suggested I stand up. I tried, but my legs were weak from the lack of movement. The nurse rushed over to help me to stand. Shortly there after, the brace was being applied to my body. It is now very difficult to explain, the feeling that I had, but here goes. This plastic corset type thing extended from my hips, then wrapped around under my arms. It was then fused together with nylon and leather straps and metal buckles. In the upper part of the chest there was an metal bar that extended to my chin, where at the top was a soft padded cup thing that caressed my chin. From the back of the brace, the plastic corset came up to just about the middle of my head. Then there were three more straps that I soon came to realize would hold my head immobilized. One of the straps extended from the back of the brace around to the forehead. The other two, one was on the left side and the other on the right, forced back of the brace and the chin plate to be connected.

It took about fifteen minutes for Rob and the nurse to install my hardware. Basically, after they were done I could not move my head. Believe me I tried to flex the muscles in my neck, it was impossible. And so was bending my back, it was actually the way Rob said it would be-a human stick. I tried to look around to see Rob’s face, but it almost like I was forced to look at the ceiling. It was certainly something that I was going to have get used to.

Finally, I was able to adjust my eyes to get glimpse at Rob. He had a very peculiar look on his face. I was not sure as to whether or not he was relieved that I had agreed to the treatment or if secretly enjoyed watching me turn into a living mummy. I had never felt so uncomfortable in my entire life, but like an inmate sentenced to a prison term, I would have to learn to cope with my captor-the brace.

“OK, honey, how does it feel?”

“Rob, how is it supposed to feel? I can’t move my back or my neck. How long do I have to wear this? Indefinitely?”

“Beth, listen, you will be wearing this brace from anywhere from six months to five years. But in your case, probably a couple of years. You are allowed to take the brace off one hour a day, that is it, no more. ”

“OK, when will I go home?”

“In about two days, I want you to get used to your very limited movement, and also I want a physical therapist to work with you to do some strengthening of your legs. The therapist will also show you how to adapt to your new situation. I will let you get back to your room now. I have rounds to do, but I will be around to have dinner with you.”

That was the best news that I had heard in months-I was going home. Then I realized that I would be taking a souvenir home from this place. The nurse helped me back to my room. I actually walked. I was very slow, my legs felt like the many servings of Jell-O that I had eaten in the past couple of months. But it still felt very good. With the except of the hardware that had been installed on my body. My back had never felt like that before, each step I took the more and more I detested the brace. But, I did realize that if it corrected the deformity in my spine.

Walking down the hall, a small child was standing by his mother. The child made a comment like…Mommy, that lady is like the guy from Robocop. I thought great my life has turned into a freak show. It could be worse…right. At least, I am going home to start my new life…wonder what it will be like.

**This is the first installment of HELP. I hope you enjoyed this story…there will be more to come when I come up with it.

Chapter Two

Robocop, that is all I can think of as I attempt to walk down the hall to my sterile prison, I am sorry hospital room. Being braced and cast for so long had made the muscles in my legs extremely weak. Luckily the nurse realizes my inability to move and quickly finds a wheelchair. I sit down; I did not realize with my new hardware how difficult it is going to be just to do the simple things like sitting. The nurse wheels me back to my room, where she assists me to bed. She tries to make me more comfortable, but it does not seem to work. Nothing she does can make me comfortable. After her attempts fail, she assures me she will be back, but she needs to go check on other patients. Great, I am basically left here to take stock in my situation. I cannot put my head back against the pillow, I cannot shift my weight, and I cannot even reach for anything. I am stuck in whatever position I am left in.

Ok, now that I have taken stock in what I cannot do, lets see what is good about this. UM… well at least I am not sedated any more, nor am I hooked up to a ventilator, or a feeding tube. But I am still dependent on everyone else to do the basic human functions. All of a sudden, I hear footsteps and something being rolled into the room. I strain to see, but with no avail, my neck is so ridged that this is in possible. Then I realize there are two people, who came to see me, but they brought a cart, of some sort, and the same high backed wheel chair as before. Then I realize one of them is my husband.

“Beth, I see you have gotten back to your room safely. How are you feeling?”

“How do you think I am feeling?” I retorted.

“Now Beth, it is not going to do you any good to get mad, and cynical at me. In fact, it may make your recovery worse. Now, I am going to ask this question again, how are you feeling?”

“I feel like I am stuck in this prison, that is called a hospital, and there is not much I am able to do about it.”

“Well, Beth, there is not much you can do about it. And since you have this terrible attitude about your recovery, then you are really not going to like what I am about to do. Nurse, will please bring the cart closer to the bed. Also, we may need an orderly in here to help us with moving Beth around.”

Great, what is he going to do now? There is not much he has not done over the recent months. I have been in a full body cast, a halo brace, been heavily sedated, been on a ventilator, been fed by a feeding tube, been strapped and confined to a wheelchair, and God knows what else, while I was sedated over the last few months. The nurse and the overly muscular orderly walk in…

” Yes’m, Dr.Silger, hows can I helps you?” Asks the orderly. I am sure the orderly must be good at his job, because he certainly does not have a command of the English language.

“Sam thanks for coming. I do not need you right away, but I will. Why don’t you get off your feet, and sit over in the chair in corner.”

“Yous are so kind, I needs to sit down, and my feets are tired.” Sam stated gratefully.

My husband is nicer to an orderly, and then he is to me. I am stating to see how this is going to go. Anyway, Rob scoots the little stool closer to the cart and me. I am still unable to see what is on the cart. I cannot distinguish how large the cart is. Rob, puts his hand my shoulder, and rotates it. I try to resist…

“Beth, you are only going make it more difficult on yourself if you resist. Also, you are in no position to resist. Fortunately, in your condition, you are unable to do anything for yourself, and I am the one who can provide you with the best or the worst of care. Remember, you do not know what is coming, so it is best to be cooperative now.”

I did not say anything. I am laying here in shock. The man I married is treating me like I am an invalid. Yet, he told me this was all for the Scoliosis, that was left untreated so many years ago, but it is a punishment for something.

Rob continues to rotate my right shoulder. He moves down to my wrist, where he reaches for something on the cart with one hand and holds my wrist with the other. Then I hear the pulling of Velcro. With my palm side up he slips my fingers in the brace. The brace fits over my first knuckles of my fingers, which makes it where I am unable to bend them. He then works my thumb in next. In the thumb section, there is a hard plastic bar sown into the brace. The thumb is encased in the brace. I attempt to flex my thumb muscle, but it too is now immobilized. Rob finishes the installation of the brace. The brace immobilizes the fingers, wrist, and goes up to just under the elbow. Rob moves over to the other hand, without a word, he encases my left hand and arm in a very similar brace. Now, I cannot move my neck, my back, my hips, and now my hands and arms. What’s next? My legs are already too weak.

“Sam, I need your help now, please go get the hoist and grips from the supply closet.” With out a word Sam walks out of the room.

“Nurse, will please take the restraints out of this cart, and restrain her arms to the bed rails. I do not want her to have an opportunity to get upset and move during the next procedure. Also, after you are done please go help Sam bring in the items I asked. While you accomplish this, I will get the next procedure ready.” Rob commanded.

I did not dare to speak; I did not know what to say. Then to ensure I would not say a word Rob put a gag in my month and strapped it to my neck brace. While he did this he moved my neck, and jarred my brace. Had I been able to, I would have screamed, it hurt so much. Now, I could she the pleasure of my torment in Rob’s eyes. I heard the nurse leave and shut the door.

“Don’t worry honey, the gag is not permanent, unless you want it to be. I know the pressure I just put on your neck, is painful but it will subside shortly. The gag is so you do not scream when we do the next procedure. Let me tell you what is going to occur. I know in your current state, you are unable to do anything for yourself. Also, I am sure this is going to bother you immensely, but it frankly does not bother me. In fact, you completely immobilizes makes me happy. Well, anyway, I had not made a decision until a few minutes ago, when you resisted my treatment. Because you are unable to care for yourself, there were some issues raised with how you were going to eliminate yourself. Because some of the medication, it will make you somewhat incontinent. This condition should not last too long, but at any rate, the medical team and I know we need to deal with it. Like, I stated before I had a difficult decision, do I use a catheter and create a bowel program, during your incontinence, or do I use the diaper method? Well, both have its drawbacks. I was leaning more towards the catheter, because it was a little more convenient, however, because of your crappy attitude toward your condition and your treatment, I just decided to use the diaper method. Pardon, the pun on your crappy attitude. For now you will be changed every 2-3 hours, including through the night. This is more for you to get used to be in a diaper, or what we in the medical profession call adult incontinent products. But, since I see a look of fear and dismay on your face, we will call them diapers. Over time you will be changed less and less, until you are able to control yourself, again. And if your attitude does improve I may change the decision, but that is entirely up to you, if or not you will be in diapers.

Please keep in mind; I will be taking extra measures you ensure you eliminate in YOUR DIAPERS. YOUR DIAPERS will be disposable. I am not that cruel to make you wear cloth DIAPERS. I hope you are getting the picture you will be in DIAPERS. Also, it is your decision how long you are in DIAPERS. I, also, know how we used to play nurse and wounded soldier before sex; DIAPERS could be a cramp in having sex. Also, think of other people knowing you have to wear DIAPERS. At some point you will be going home, and I know how you like to entertain. Can you imagine what people would say when they heard you walk and they heard the crackle of the DIAPERS, or even the possible smell? What about if you and I went out, and you had to be changed? And I know how weak you are, and I took you into the ladies room and changed your DIAPERS? Or having to explain to your friends why you have to buy a bigger dress, or pants, because the ones you have will not fit over your DIAPERS. Or when you take a friend into the closet to show them a new dress and they see 4-5 cases of extra absorbent DIAPERS. I just want you to think of complications, and I want you to really think about your actions. It is not a wise move to be so evasive and resistant. ”

I could not say a word obviously I wanted to scream. I was horrified, to wear diapers. As far as sex, I did not think it was an option in my state. I loathed the idea of wearing diaper, and having to be changed. I got the point, I know he wanted me to understand the implications of be in continent. I pulled against the restraints. Unfortunately, this only tired me out. Then Sam and the nurse came back in with the hoist and the grips. When Rob had first, asked Sam to go get these items, I was not sure what they were for.

“Thank you Sam, you have done an excellent job. Your services are no longer needed, so you can go back to your regular duties.”

“Yous are so kind Doctor.”

As quickly as Sam left the room, Rob had the hoist grips around my knees and ankles, and had the nurse start pumping the hoist. My legs and butt went in the air. Rob quickly cut off my shorts and underwear, and tossed them in the trash. The hoist kept going, until I received the most awful pain. The hoist changed my position, where it added pressure to my already weak hips and back. Also, the brace had not been adjusted to elevate this extremely pain.

“Nurse, thank you for all your help, I can take it from here.”

“Doctor, are you sure? I can certainly stay if you want me to clean up.”

“Yes I am sure, but thank you for your help.” The nurse left the room.

Rob kept me in this much pain, while he dug out a diaper. He then loosened the hip extension of the brace, eased the discomfort a few degrees. He put the diaper under my butt, and slowly released the hoist. After the hoist had my legs and butt back on the bed, the diaper was tightly secured around the waist, and Rob then tightened the hip extension.

Rob sat down on the stool and just looked at me. He reached up and unhooked the gag from my mouth. By this point, I was mentally exhausted, physically too, from pulling against the restrains. He then removed the restrains around my arms. I was not sure what to say, because I did not want to cause myself any more problems. Rob sat back down, and just stared at me. Finally, he got up.

“Honey, I know you think I have been cruel, but some of this is necessary. I know we have talked about bracing and I know you were reluctant in doing it, but when I have the opportunity, I went a little crazy, but I cannot undo it right now. What I am going to do is put you in this wheelchair, and get you ready to go home. Please do not say anything.”

With that, he some how got me into the wheelchair. However, after I was seated, the restrains came: one around each ankle, one around each knee, one across the lap, on around the waist, and chest. Finally, my hands were strapped down to the large armrests. If I would have had any intentions of trying to move in the chair, they were gone with the application of the restraints.

“Beth, I am going to take you home now, and then we will discuss what happens next…….”

Chapter Three

Before I realized it, Rob was pushing the wheelchair down the long hospital corridor. He pushed open a door; the cool air of being outside made me shiver. I had not been outside in months. Awaiting us was a full side conversion van, which had the back doors and a ramp was waiting for Rob to wheel me up into it. Once we were in the van, Rob quickly shut the doors and locked the wheelchair in place, so I would not roll around. There were no windows in the back of the van, so I was not able to look out. I knew it was night, what time, I could not tell you. I have not known what time it was for months, why did it matter now? I could not wait to get home. I am sure Rob had made arrangements for my arrival, but I am sure they all were not pleasant.

I of a sudden, I felt it. It happened I started to wet myself. I knew the nurse had given me medication before I left, but I did not think I would almost instantly I felt this warmth and moistness between my legs. Then I realized I was wetting myself. I am humiliated. I tried to push my legs together, with the restrains confining me to this chair it was impossible, but it was coming out anyway. In fact the harder I tried the quicker it came out. I felt it hit the diaper and then spread. This horrified me. I gasped…

“Beth, what’s wrong?” Rob asked as he continued to drive.

“Nothing.” I did not want to give him the satisfaction, of witnessing me soil myself.

I really wanted to cry. I am not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me get emotional. All I could think of is what he has in store for me at home. What, I was going immobilized and horrified in my own home? I was not going to be able to care for myself, I could not even control the basic human functions, I could not think of anything worse. Finally we started to slow down, I knew we were getting closer to home. Then I heard the garage door go up. Rob parked the van, and opened the back, unlocked the chair and wheeled me inside. The house looked pretty much the same. May be a little cleaner.

“Welcome home, Beth. Let me show you some of the changes I made for your homecoming. Some of them I am sure you are not going to like. There have been many changes, so your condition can be accommodated.”

I started to speak. As I opened my mouth Rob shoved the gag back in my mouth and attached it to my neck harness. Again, I tried to fight it, but soon gave up. What the heck was he trying to accomplish? I was already at his mercy. I was totally immobilized and confined. I noticed I had limited mobility in my body; this is why I cannot control function. Whatever drug I was given robbed me of motion. I could still feel everything, but what motion I did have was gone. One thing Rob did do was adjust the neck extension where I can at least have some vision of what was going on.

Rob wheeled me down the long forrier, to a small hallway, which led to bedroom. I actually do not remember this room. We had lived in this house for about 5 years, why would I have not remembered this room? Rob continued to push me in the room. After we were in the room, Rob slammed the door and locked it.

“Beth, like I said before welcome home. Also, welcome to your new prison, I mean your new room. In your absence, this room was added, just so you would have a place to recover. You will be spending the majority of your time here, so you better get used to it. Let me show you around.”

This room was huge. From what I could see there was bathroom on my left, a sitting area in the far right, and a hospital bed in the center. Overall, the room looks fairly normal, or so I think.

“Well Beth, let me give you the grand tour of your palace. Lets start in the bathroom. As you can see there is a shower area, the four chains coming from the ceiling are to be connected to a waterproof gurney, so your nurse can bathe you. Also, there is a built in feature… when you start behaving, I mean recovering, and you start to care for yourself, there is a place for a full body harness to be attached.

Well, next is the toilet. It is pretty standard, but you will not be using it for a while. But when you do start to regain control of this function, you will need help, holding on to the bars. Well, anyway, since you will not be meeting your basic needs… lets go over your hygiene schedule.

You will be awaken at 5 am every morning. At this time, the nurse will take your diaper off, and if you have not done a number 2, a suppository will be inserted. I will admit this will be fairly painful. After the suppository does its thing you will be given an enema. I want to ensure you are completely cleaned out; again this is something you probably will not like. After, you are done messing yourself; the nurse will completely undress you. She will remove all the braces, and immobilization products, and put you on the gurney, and then bathe you. She will also brush your teeth. After she is done with your teeth you will be wearing 2 plastic mouth plates. These mouth plates will do one of two things: keeping your jaw in line, because the chin pads on your current brace has a tendency to deform your jaw and 2, while the plates are in, they will semi-lock your jaws so you are unable to talk. I feel the gags are much too obtrusive than the plates.

Next let me show the rest the of the room.”

He pushes me out of the bathroom. I honestly thought this could not get any worse. He stops at the large dresser next to the closet door. He opens 2 drawers and pulls out socks, pants and a t-shirt… and something else.

“While you are recuperating, I want you to be fairly comfortable. Shortly after you are bathed… you will be dressed. Almost immediately after your shower, a diaper will be put on to prevent accidents. Then you will be dressed in these cotton leggings and a t-shirt. The leggings are tight, because I want you to fully see the diaper out line on the pants. Oh yeah, there is more thing you will wear. (He picks up what looks to be a bra). Yes, this is a bra. I know you are used to wearing those skimpy bras, which enhance your cleavage. Well, sorry with the type of braces you are wearing enhancing your cleavage is out of the question. In fact it will only cause you more pain and stress. This bra was specially designed with orthopedics in mind. The brace has 8 hooks and eyes, so it provides a lot of support. There is a thick under wire. The cup is made of a very thick durable cotton, with an over wire sown in. Again, the breasts need to minimiumized as much as possible. And finally, the straps are very thick connected at the chest and the back for maximum support. After you are dressed the braces and hardware will be installed. I would suggest you cooperate. Any problems will result in other problems for you.”

I stared at the bra. 8 hooks meant the straps were about 6 inches. I had never heard of an over wire before. I did not have large breasts, but they certainly did not need to get smaller. Next was the walk in closet. Rob parked the chair in a central position so I could see almost everything. What I did see was very scary.

On hangers there were straight jackets, corsets, clamshells, and other things I could not make out. There were carts of various medical paraphernalia. I saw IV stands, catheter tubing, rolls of bandages, syringes, screws, drill, and pill bottles. Out of the corner of the eye, I saw at least 5 cases of extra absorbent diapers. This just keeps getting worse.

“Beth, this is the supply closet. As you can see there are many things in here, which can make your life a lot better or even worse. It is all up to you. In the next week or so you will lose the back and neck brace you are currently using. No you will not live without some support. You will still have a neck brace, but your back and hip brace will be modified to allow for more flexibility and less immobilization. I am sure you are fully aware of the many cases of DIAPERS. Again, these are extra absorbent, and they are plentiful. By now you probably are very aware of your lack of control. The medication is one where it stops the nerve impulses to the voluntary movements, but not the feeling. This is why you are unable to control your bladder. I am sure you are ready to get out of here and learn more about this room. There are many things in this closet, which will be useful to your recovery, but you are going to have to want it.”

If I want it… does he not understand I want to get out of the restraints and braces? How long will this hell last? All I want is to regain the use of my body, and hurt Rob.

“Next is the bed. Beth, please look closely at the bed. It is an oversized hospital bed, which if you notices there are traction bars connected. Yes, at some point you will be in full body traction. This will probably last at least a month. A month in traction. If you don’t like the immobilization now, you certainly will not like being in traction. One nice thing about the traction there is a built in hoist. There are several other features to the bed, but I will save some of the surprises for later.

Tonight, it will be just you and me; tomorrow you will meet the nurse. So with this said lets get you into bed.”

Rob unfastens the restraints, and lifts me to the bed. He is careful to adjust my legs. After he places me in bed, he attaches the hoist grips again to my ankles, and raises me up. I am never going to get used to getting my diaper changed.

“Beth you have been a pretty girl. But all good girls need rest. Before you go to sleep, I need to get you ready for bed.”

With this said, Rob pulled out several restraint. He tied me to the bed, and kissed me good night. His final torment of the evening was a syringe filled with a sedative.